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Archive for the ‘irritable bowel syndrome’ Category

Did you know that way more women than men have Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Want to know why? I have a little story to illustrate exactly why.

I have IBS, and right now my bowels have gone on strike. Fibre, stool softeners, lots of water, oatmeal – nothing will get them moving. Right now, everyone is out beside me and Boo. She was watching TV. I decided that it might be a good time to go and sit and see if I could encourage action (if you had told me when I was a teenager that I’d be discussing such things in such a public forum, I’d have been mortified).

Anyway, I collected the newspaper and went upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door. That’s right, folks. I locked the door. I placed a physical barrier between myself and the other living things in my house.

Of course, the silent alarm went off, alerting Boo and Jasper, who were downstairs in the basement watching Dora together. They were upstairs in a shot. Jasper settled down right outside the door and stuck his nose up to the crack at the bottom and snuffled. Boo told me she had to pee immediately, but needed my help because of her dress. I told her she’d just have to go to the other bathroom and give it a go herself.

She came back wailing, claiming to have hit her knee. Oh, the screams. Is it bleeding? I asked. She told me she couldn’t see if it was bleeding, because if she leaned over to look, she would fall down.

At least the screaming blotted out the sounds of Jasper’s pathetic snuffling. I still got tired of it pretty quickly.

It escalated. In quick succession, her stomach hurt, she was too hot but couldn’t get the dress off, she was too cold, and she was hungry. All required wailing and rattling at the doorknob. Jasper decided to help out by scratching along.

Nature chose not to call.

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